Lewis Miner proves a failure in every sense of the word. Since high school, Lewis has virtually accomplished nothing professionally, struggles with relationships, and has let himself down personally. These failures are not a result of unintelligence or misfortune, simply fear. Lewis is afraid that by undertaking any serious task that he will leave himself vulnerable and exposed. He makes an effort to conceal this fear with a constant and witty sarcasm protecting his own false reality in which he is special.
Perhaps the first insight we receive into the failures of Lewis is his writing style. He clearly possesses an above average writing ability using advanced vocabulary and expert prose. For example on page 1 the words “Let a fever for the truth speed it now. Let me stand on the rooftop of my reckoning and sought naught but the indisputable: I did not pan out.” It is later revealed that Lewis works at a newsletter creating soda fun facts that he often forges. He does not take his job seriously, find any meaning in it, but yet does not express a desire to find a career more suited to his abilities. Lewis seems take a smug pleasure in the ridiculous lies he concocts (page 15) referring to his work as “crap”, but in a way seems proud of his ability to deceive others. It would be one matter if Lewis was content with his soda writing newsletter, but it is clear to the readers that Lewis does not even value his own job, yet seeks no route of improvement.
Lewis uncharacteristically reveals some of his true feelings on page 4, stating “ What you may not realize is how much I truly loved here”. Lewis’s future actions however do not support this statement. He berates her relationship with her brother calling it “incestuous” does not make any sort of effort to commit and is eventually dumped. Lewis treats the relationship with a sense of child-like maturity, frequently telling Gwendolyn to go “fuck yourself”. Gwendolyn recognizes Lewis’s arrogant and sarcastic attitude saying “you wake up every morning like you should get a parade”. It is this arrogance combined with Lewis’s inactivity that eventually drives Gwendolyn to break up with him.
Most important of all, I believe Lewis fails himself. We rarely see any true emotion expressed, and when we do, it is quickly covered with his defensive sarcasm. On page 117, Lewis expresses a deep seriousness when speaking of settling down with Gwendolyn, but quickly reverts back to his crude language calling her “a dumb selfish cunt”. This quick reversion into his old ways perhaps signifies a refusal on Lewis’s behalf to truly experience his deeper emotions. Lewis’s extreme loneliness is also revealed through his interaction with Auggie Tabor. Their first interaction is riddled with cynical banter (pg 96-97), and Lewis later described his reason for talking to Auggie is to avoid the “terrible silence”. Lewis makes no effort to experience any emotion at all. The brief glimpses of his deeply personal side reveal a troublesome personal conflict, but is always quickly covered with a quick reversion to his original behavior.
Lewis is afraid of the real world. While this is something I can sympathize with to some point, Lewis takes it to an extreme level. He is not content with his career, yet makes no effort for change. He will not commit to Gwendolyn and fears her poignant yet accurate comments about his arrogance. He even will not admit to himself that he is miserable and feels horribly alone. Lewis’s inner misery is a result of the world it is something he has created. He lives in a false reality where he believes himself the most clever and intelligent; however, Gwendolyn provides a challenge to this reality which he does not appreciate. He is afraid of having his reality shattered. He is afraid of failure in the real world, and would rather live in his false reality than admit he is miserable and take the necessary steps to improve his quality of life.
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